Madam No dey take Bike

Hmm the mad rush in Lagos and all creates a lot of chaos in these parts. People wake up late and want to get there RIGHT NOW causing majority of accidents nowadays. Well minus the Abokis who dont even listen to slow down or kadan kadan when you tell them to.
The spirit of flying to where we are going even in our own cars seems to be ridiculous but mehn people do it and the next time you are shouting at that mad driver speeding up the street, ask yourself ‘could that be me?’.

There are so many times we make such a gross error until……………… the inevitable, ppprrrrrrrr gbashh and then we hear things like ‘yee yeee,  Oh No, Its the Devil, Its a LIE’ like by some terrible stroke of inconvenience or stroke of Luck just befell them. Anyway as for me most especially on Full Moon nights (My dad confirmed this one oh) there are a lot of bad drivers and Wierd behaviors trust me on this one.

Anyway before i forget the original Jist on The DARE-DEVIL Okada(Bike) riders, let me complete the jist. Still shaken from one of the worst experiences of my life (When a crazy Okada rider threw me under a trailer and i almost lost my life). I was in a hurry recently to an important event and decided to take a bike.

Mehn the moment i climbed on the bike my stomach just clenched like i was gonna throw up. At first i was battling with my skirt not to keep flying up(as you know we VI working babes and our minis though mine want too short) and i was trying to prevent me from Oogling my fresh fair thighs. Lol na so o ;). SO i took my scarf and wrapped it up. At first one eye was doing the road monitoring along side the bike man  then when operation cover the thighs was over, Ehen, stage one completed, then i started for stage two… .. .

Operation STAY ALIVE, (yes oh) thats how one hand started directing traffic from behind the bike man. ‘Slow down’, ‘Sorry sir don’t mind him’, ‘please let us pass’, ‘ Be Careful Oh’, ‘Hmmn Hmmn’,  soon we approached TBS and my tension level was just starting to go down, and then Gbosaaa, i nearly had a Heart attack, the guy just hit a Toyota Corolla and wanted to escape in a tight corner. The guy wanted to lock us into the curb. i just started screaming and begging the car owner in the same breath. Praying silently and looking to see if i was still alive, ….complete fingers…. …toes….ehrrmm… face intact….. ok ok i havent even fallen off the bike.
Who asked me to take a bike now, talking to myself. The okada man asked me ‘Why are you begging him’  I was angry now ‘Cant you see that you hit his car, if he decides to come down and beat you would you wait? YOU would run like a thief. Mchew, you better beg him now’. The guy just continued like it was no big deal. In my mind i was like so if i was the one driving that is what you would do. I would have shown the guy i am a true daughter of my father. I would come down and use his own hand to slap his face till he is dizzy.Lol
Hmm, to cross the road to the Bus-top was an ordeal. I started flagging down vehicles coming, doing a serious please sign to them. Next thing i hear ‘Wetin madam, hahan na me dey drive this bike. make i do my job you are blocking my view, move your hand’. I replied ‘you are not serious, so i cant beg them to let us pass. How is my hand blocking your face?’ ‘Instead of saying thank you, mcheww’
Finally, a window came and we crossed the road. ‘Whew i was so relieved to my stomach and could breathe now.
‘Madam i know my job ehn, i don dey ride bike for long time. Me and my People(fellow riders) know our job’
I replied ‘ you are looking for who to kill this afternoon abi. Take your money joo’ and i started walking towards the BRT terminus
What did i hear ‘Madam no dey take bike again o, hmm’
I couldnt help but smile at the comment. Mehn i wish i had a car O. E no easy.

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By scorptastic Posted in Home

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