I have often wondered if marriage wasn’t for the faint hearted, but staying Married for those with extremely strong hearts……
When two people meet, like each other, and start a relationship most times it is for the purpose of friendship, sex, money and or companionship.
In recent times sex and money play the ultimate role as the major things been sought by both parties. Gone are the things that are supposed to make the relationship stronger, for every hurt comes experience and with it knowledge.
Most men have Egos so big it would take a tractor to deflate and women look for the superficial in their relationships (fat bank accounts, flashy cars and nice house to top the list) missing the obvious and more important factors. The time when couples worked hard together to make things better and start a family bond stronger than any other is long gone. No one here says the man shouldn’t be the provider of the family but women work with your men here he cannot do it all alone even if you are a house wife.
Let me site an example before I begin my main story. In a family where the husband is the sole breadwinner, caters to their every need of the family including house cleaning, the wife is a housewife. Now, the wife stays home all day doing nothing, the maid helps her with everything else needed like cooking of breakfast and dinner including care of the children who already attend schools, the driver takes the children to school and back (while being very badly behaved and not properly trained), the husband gets home after close of work around 7pm the wife is sleeping and there is no food on the table. The wife instructs the maid not to begin to prepare dinner till 9pm, while the food tastes like shit. How does this trend start?? Woman, why be so lazy??
Let me site an example of a beginning, Dipo and Temi meet at the club, they start dating and things begin to develop from there. They begin to meet more frequently and one thing leads to another Temi gets pregnant but says to Dipo, abortion is not an option. Dipo says “I am not ready to be tied down in marriage yet” but thinks well we have fun together and great sex why not. After a while they come to an agreement, it’s time for a meeting of the families and marriage preparations begin in earnest.
Temi’s friends say to her “wow, you are so lucky to have such a catch” and she goes all blushing and smiling. Dipo’s friends, some say “seems our young man has been caught by the Love spell going around” and one sensible one asks “Dip oar you sure you wanna do this?? Im just asking cos you don’t seem ready to me, but s=don’t let me be a party pooper. Congratulations man”
The couple to be hardly has time to see each other during the preparations as the families want them to be united before the baby comes along. The questions that needed to be asked have been forgotten or skipped. The usually observant and careful mothers resort to making sure the Aso-Ebi(materials to be worn by family and friends) is in the right color, order and enough quantity. They wanna bear the title Grandma before they can even see the pregnancy reaches full term.
When the dotted lines are signed, the baby comes, there is no time for honeymoon or the couple getting to know themselves and all the hidden traits come to the fore.
They realize this thing called Love was never in the picture. What happens then?? Most couples especially in the Africans may still try to work it out but that is fast becoming a thing of the past as divorce rates are on the rise.
Must many lives be ruined before the gross error becomes glaring??